Clarion Magazine Buys CapeSoft and ClarionShop, Expands Empire

Published 2005-04-01    Printer-friendly version

In a surprise development, Clarion Magazine has purchased CapeSoft, the largest third party vendor in the Clarion community, as well as CapeSoft's online store, ClarionShop. Clarion Magazine publisher David Harms was quoted as saying there would be no immediate changes to either CapeSoft or ClarionShop operations, with the exception that Bruce Johnson's stated ambition of having his email address changed to LordAndMaster@capesoft.com has been permanently thwarted.

Harms described the takeover as friendly, with only two minor injuries. CapeSoft's Gary James jammed a finger trying to locate the new Winnipeg, Manitoba head office on the CapeSoft office globe, and Jono Woodhouse, who was given the news while juggling on his coffee break, accidentally struck himself on the temple with a bowling pin and had to be rushed to hospital with a mild concussion. Both developers are expected to recover fully.

When asked how Clarion Magazine came up with the cash to buy both CapeSoft and ClarionShop, Harms shrugged. "We came into a bit of a windfall," he said. "It's all down to the Planet Clarion podcasts. There's a ton of money to be made in advertising. You wouldn't believe what SoftVelocity paid for just one subliminal ad." When pressed for details, Harms revealed that if you play the February 25 podcast backwards, you can hear Bob Zaunere saying "Here's an interesting thing - you will buy Clarion.NET."

"Actually," added Harms, "that's pretty much what he says when you play it forwards too."

SoftVelocity president Bob Zaunere, reached by cell phone while out on business, would not confirm or deny bankrolling backward-masked ads, yet this reporter heard a voice in the background asking for a confirmation of a large amount of money to be transferred in Canadian dollars.

"World domination," Harms said, when asked about Clarion Magazine's future plans. "Clarion developers have been waiting for something like this for a long time. It's nice to see everything finally falling into place. Anybody who wants to know more should visit the Clarion World Domination web site."

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